Where there are challenges - there are OPPORTUNITIES

Y.* Public Library has a copy of The Clan of the Cave Bear; I officially am dedicated to a two year service here. This discovery, along with a few others this morning has convinced me I am in the spot for me. Upon arrival yesterday, the developed state of Y intimidated me. (Well, still does, just to a far lesser degree). This village has a gorgeous set up of structures – guest houses, library, kitchen/dining hall and already existing organizations that the community is a part of. These wonderful structures belong to the Cayman Research Center and Rupununi Learners – two organizations established in 2004 with the actions and motivations of an American woman, Alice, and her family. Though she’s no longer in country, the organizations are Y-ran.

What the heck could I do here? I felt pretty inferior and uncomfortable. And scared, I admit. (Still do, though less than before). This morning, though, I got to talk with Alice online (very fun) and was completely calmed with a few sentences from her. She said, “It’s about a PROCESS, not a product. We are asking you to engage a process; don’t worry about products, about “producing.” The products will evolve from the process. All you have to do is “BE and SEE.” Words that went straight to the soul. It’s a statement I’d hear out of Dad’s mouth, or my own even, in different contexts. I am the Queen of Being and Seeing. It seems what she/they are (primarily) requesting is a person with the characteristics I possess; no need to fret over skills right now.

Alice gave me the link to the LR website - www.rupununilearners.org - and it was there that all my qualms were soothed. I better understood what the Cayman Research Center was and what the people were doing there. I read about their efforts in literacy, saw the programs initiated and challenges to progress. I could envision the Peace Corps process fitting in with all of this work, and I could envision myself working alongside these people. It’s going to be a challenge, but I am officially stoked for it. How’s that for positive attitude?

Some of the “opportunities” noted in the website were: The Cayembe Telegraph, a newsletter for Y-ians. I met one of the frequent editors of the newsletter, Shamir, yesterday. There are two RPCV’s on the Rupununi Learners Foundation board, which is the American counterpart to the Rupununi Learners Incorporation. Those two will be great resources to get help from. The Makushi Research Unit is working on a Makushi English Dictionary. Makushi is the native language spoken in the area and is (unfortunately) not much of a written language. This is the first generation working on recording the language. Many students (and parents) are learning English as a second language, not first. A multi-media phonics program was attempted for the students and teacher as well as an effort to make read-aloud tapes to aid in student and teacher story telling. Then there’s resources like in the eco-tourism here (a woman with otters at a glorious ranch) or the Reading Rodeo program they did once a couple years ago. I’m thinking a resurrection of the Rodeo is in the air).And a final opportunity – the library itself. There are so many books there to enjoy! Several I myself want to read and/or re-read. I’ll have a lot of resources to use and there is potential to enhance the library system, as well.

Some of the challenges noted which can give way to opportunities: the fact that English is a second language – Creolese English, at that – and that Makushi isn’t really written down. Plus the fact that I don’t know Makushi. Another challenge is improving the contact between school and home, well as village contact with the library. Communication must be increased. A few general challenges cautioned by many are the consumption of alcohol, and then, having to compromise between the fast-paced schedule of the US and the relaxed schedule of Guyana. I’ll really need to learn how to pace myself, yet not give into the relaxation completely.

The title of this post is a quote that comes from both my PM, Diana, and GUY19 PCV, Topher. Following this statement, Diana also reminded us that attitude is a big indicator of your success as a PCV. I have a feeling I will use the above mantra and attitude advice, and I will use it well.

*For the sake of "security", my village will be referred to as "Y" in all my posts.

Its official

Ok, official transition; no longer a Peace Corps Trainee, but now a prestigious Peace Corps Volunteer. They make it a point to never call us PCV's during training.... we're always aware of our sublevel status. But it made swearing in all the more significant. As a group, we all held up our hands and repeated the oath from the Charge d'Affairs. It was quite solemn. Then our Program Managers gave us a pin on it with the Peace Corps logo and ont op of it, an American flag and a Guyanese flag. Two years of thinking about it and applications, two months of training, and I am finally a Peace Corps Volunteer.

Heres the article in the local newspaper: http://www.kaieteurnews.com/?p=3496

A Journey of a Thousand Miles...

Well, that was brutal. It’s the conclusion of our PACA community analysis assignment, and I’m not sure I accurately portrayed a Peace Corps Volunteer, after all. For clarification purposes, just what exactly is a PCV? What do they do? What do they not do? Well, training has taught me that a PCV is a “grassroots ambassador” and a “community development facilitator.” They are good representatives of their country. They help with communities learning how to help themselves by showing leadership (partially), giving different perspectives and teaching new methods. They show the community how to work with and improve what they’ve got. They don’t head up projects, donate money or come with existing supplies. What can I offer as a PCV? That’s a related, but separate and ambivalent subject. Although, not in the minds of our dear organization.

When 10 adults showed up on Saturday to help us do our community analysis and needs ranking, we were thrilled. What with the wonderful speech the leader gave on Thursday and how well I thought I expressed our intent. Though the afternoon became more of a time to talk abut the one need of the hour – a community center – and what we could do to get it. Mary, Beth and I were overwhelmed, because it wasn’t how we planned it to go, and we weren’t trained nor equipped to actually respond to the needs! All we wanted to do was hear a couple thoughts and suggestions; ideally, 5, because that’s what the practice book used. It did seem like a cruel exercise, for the organization, at least. “Hey, we’re gonna help you think of what the community needs and what you could do about it- then we’re gonna leave and help our own real communities with what we’ve learned from you. Thanks!” When it seemed like we were only opening a can of worms we weren’t capable of closing, we decided to come back this Thursday to offer some sort of conclusion. We felt obligated, plus needed to step out of the situation to gain a little perspective before we could adequately conclude our time with them. Obviously, we’d have to re-re-re-iterate we were only here to get them thinking and as trainee’s, we can offer them the next step, which luckily came to us in the for our of last PACA assignment today. Staff gave us the SWOT analysis, which looks at Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats of a potential project. If anything, I figured we could give them some realistic things to consider as well as some knowledge that could help build and keep a solid foundation for project implementation. But halfway through our SWOT with them, it apparently finally dawned on the leader that the three of us were not there to head the projects ourselves, and do not come baked with resources – just ourselves, and we’d be leaving for our official assignment soon. As one of the many packets we’ve given says, “The focus of the volunteer’s work is on people, not things.” The leader didn’t quite accept that. I tried to stress this to her, though. But she ended up bluntly asking in away where only a blunt answer would suffice (making the three of us look like stooges) if all we had come to do was get some information for ourselves. Because, basically, yeah. Even if we could see the project through, we wouldn’t have known how to! We don’t know how to write grants, or coordinate a community-wide project! We haven’t learned that yet, I don’t have those skills! Action was expected (legitimately or not) and I could not deliver. “Talk about shooting down a (wo)man’s horse – whaaap!” This was the first cold shower awakening that things of this magnitude are going to be expected of me in the next two years. Well, maybe not expected, but certainly presented at my feet.

My first instinct was to freeze up and shut down from the overstimulation of the situation. Incompetency swarmed over me and the weight of responsibility was heavy. But, there was this secret source of strength within me (very cool, I might add) that knew this was just a learning process and (hopefully) the experience would come and give way to knowledge. I apologized or potentially misleading anyone at the organization we told them that for any project to succeed, you needed to have a strong foundation with all the kinks worked out, and hopefully we gave them the skills for that. Beth told them she’d pass their info on to the PCV’s staying here on the coast and we stressed that hey could give them ideas and perspectives not objects. Then we got out of there!

What a trial to go through! Its interesting cause I know we left there, not satisfying them (the leader, at least) which I do feel bad for, but knowing what had happened was so significant to me. I certainly learned from this failure – if it can be called that. I don’t really think it was. Man, there’s a lot I have to learn. And to do. As for the organization, many of the adults there still smiled and thanked us for coming. So, we got our assignment done, but could have done better with out interactions with our organization. I think we partially jumped the guns when the novelty of community interaction getting the better of us. But I certainly learned a lot.

... Begins with one step

I just got a glimpse of the shoes I’ll be filling as a PCV and it was monumental - in potential that is; nothing that big really happened. Last week, we did work with a “youth group,” aka random kids that live nearby, and while fun, not really productive. This week, we’re asked to work with an adult group on analyzing their needs and the community’s needs – as practice, mind you. But, can you say “scary”? We identified an organization a few weeks ago , the one that Karishma’s host sister is a member of. We attended their meeting/service once and we figured we’d go again, refresh them of our faces… and then request “a moment of their time.” We were warmly welcomed back. They sing a lot during their services and they encouraged us to sing – so I did. Yup, me, Sarah sang a song out loud, by herself (well, with a drum and long metal stick thing as an instrument), a song that no one knew, no one had the words to and one that the only part I remembered was the chorus. So I sang it twice, virtually alone except the ever-faithful Beth who helped out. Never done that before! After awhile, the leader introduced us again and then gave us the podium! I spoke about our training and mission in the Peace Corps and how we ID’ed the organization to practice with because we knew they were already involved in the community. What our training asked of us and what we wanted to do for our training village was to work with them to asses the community’s needs. I told them we didn’t want to just come in and say “We think you need this…” we wanted it to be something they identified. While I was talking, I saw several nods of understanding (and agreement?) and that was wonderful. They asked us questions and when the leader asked for hands of who would be interested and the numbers were small, she started talking about how our work and effort is important, that we left our country to come here and help so they should support that. Anyway, we had maybe 10 hands raised in the end, and they even decided to give us the time they’d usually meet on Saturdays! Wow that was… *insert some colorful adjective here.* To be initiating some community development (actually doing it!) and to have the community respond - granted, it’s just expressing an interest - was almost character-changing. “This is it,” I thought. “This is what I’ll be doing. I can do it.” It was just the teensiest of a step in a long line of steps, but I took it. Peace Corps here I come.