Birthday Itations Part 4

Aunt Maureen and Aunt Alma pulled me to dance with them, effectively opening the dance floor, and told me “You must pull people for dance!” After that was dancing interrupted by refilling mugs and other interesting requests such as a tarpaulin to lay the children down (because no party is exclusively an adult party, and children are not exempt from sampling the drink, no matter how strong it is), cups of water, hammock to relax in and requests to change up the music or to try what they had brought. Franzea kept encouraging me to go dance, dance, which I tried to do. At one point, she fried up the birthday fish I’d received and that fed close friends. I couldn’t bring myself to say no to any requests to refill mugs – this contributed to the rapidly diminishing supply of drinks, I believe. A healthy amount of people came and I tried to make rounds, although I admit, in the dark, I couldn’t recognize everyone – not to mention I still don’t know everyone’s names or remember that I’ve met them before. It’s like, “Hello You!” Despite that, so many people are so special to me and I tried to make them feel that, although that is logistically difficult to do. I was basically enjoying it, though. For many of the people, they’d never been by my house. Most stayed outside, and I made sure to put my valuables in my bedroom and lock the door, and Franzea was mostly inside to keep an eye on things. CH Crew arrived, fashionably late, sauntering over to The Table, and of course, getting their own bucket of rice wine. Some Crew from the South was around, and they had brought a South Blend of cari for me, which was nice. Chris gave me a bottle of rum. Nice presents. Speaking of presents, a few days earlier, Russian gave my a bday present, a headband. It was very, very sweet.

I had fun dancing with my favorite people, and I danced with whoever asked me, something I don’t always do. All were respectful. And, with Fernando and Leroy and others who weren’t strictly of the village, I could dance more enthusiastically with, which was nice. Some Forro Gyga played finally and I got excited – this is what I first learned to dance to! It’s what the epitome of my Rupununi life here is. I ran outside and met up with Vaughn, who knew. He’s always good for a spirited, nice dance (or two). Alicia, Franzea and I tried to take pauses in sharing out, though I think we could have taken it even more slow, because drinks started to diminish, though I kept getting bombarded with requests until I finally stopped the music and made an announcement that whatever was left was on The Table, that’s it. Of course, no one ever believes that that’s it, and usually that’s never it. Truthfully, I was holding back one last bucket for my actual birthday. Drinks finally finished between 12 and 12:30. (‘Cept that 1 bucket.)

I had more and more fun, laughing and dancing until I decided to turn off the music around 1 or 1:30. Shamir was my last dance and a half; I told him it was ‘a must,’ he was obligated because it was my birthday. (We’ve only danced once before, our first dance happening only last month!) It was a nice dance to close the dance floor with. People were still feeling it and could have kept dancing (some were just getting started), myself included, but I figured we’d end it strong, and not disturb the rest of the village to late into the night, plus encourage decorum. Parties will typically go on until the cari finishes or the battery dies, which more often than not means early, early morning. Music was cut off and I started cleaning up, though some men still lingered on the side of my house, and ok, I had one man passed out on the ground, but just one!

Reports from those who went to check out Inez’s house said that not as many people were there as were at my place, however once my music cut out, many went that side. Fernando and Shamir came back for one last shot, though, and I closed the night with two of the people I’m closest with here. Water was on all night so we could keep washing cups and dishes, I never got too dosed up, and people truly did seem to be enjoying themselves. Went to bed around 2 a.m., satisfied – with how it went, and that it was over. Time will tell if all went well that night. But I, at least, had fun. No lingering itations. (Itations, which I'm sure you're dying to know by now, simply means "issues" or "hang ups." Sort of negative, not necessarily, though.) Next year, if there is a next year, we’ll go for dancing, drinks and a meal. Another year older another year wiser – that’s the hope, at least. And another year of development with my village. Because development doesn’t just come in terms of education, political and agricultural etc., but personal and social, too.

*My party was held on this day, the 24th, though my actual birthday was on the Tuesday after it, and was nice, too. Teachers gathered after school at Lucy's for some rum and rice wine, we danced to some forro, then Franzea, Mike and Shamir came to my house for the evening to chill. Ideal.

Birthday Itations Part 3

Then there was the issue of straining the cari. There was Inez and Auntie’s cari, plus two 5-gallon buckets donated by the Duncan family (my goodness, they are all gems). I didn’t know it, but Lucy was feeling ill all day. I ran around, looking for a strainer and then for more sugar to add to the rice wine, it was strong and needed a little more flavor; we also had to strain out the rice and transfer it to different buckets. Franzea had set a 15 gallon barrel for her birthday, which she ended up sharing to another birthday girl between hers and mine, and so with the same rice, just adding sugar and water, we set it again for my own birthday, in the barrel borrowed by Marva. So by Saturday, it was good to go. Lucy in the meantime, cooked some pacoc, which is made from tasso which has been boiled and then grinded. My birthday lunch, just for us.

I come back from getting sugar and Lucy has Desrine, who lives in the house behind the bush in my backyard, straining the cari. Cari is made from cassava (as is farine). It is scraped, grated and then mixed with the parched leaves of the cassava plant (and some water) and left to ferment for at least three days. Then when you’re ready to drink it, you add water through it and strain it, manually, with a manari, which is a hand-woven device, or by using a mesh-made device, sorta like gold miners used to use. You’re left with balls of fibrous cassava waste, which you throw away. Depending on how long it’s set and how fine the strainer is, you’ll get either sweet cari or strong cari, you’ll get thick cari (a meal in a cup/bowl) or fine cari. Two 5-gallon buckets plus the two smaller buckets mixed with water added up to fill that barrel we set the rice wine in, and the rice wine was moved into the 5-gallon buckets and other various buckets I rounded up. I run up to Caiman House to get more mugs and to charge my mp3 for music. By this time, “3 or 4” had long passed.

I go to shower, when I come out, Marva is there, too, along with Franzea and Mark is chopping weeds in my yard. Marva goes with me to start inviting. See, it’s not enough to talk about the party in advance and tell them they’ll have to come by – people don’t consider themselves a special invitee unless you go and invite them – right before the party. So, me and Marva go. We go to Alicia’s house and invite them, then to James George’s house to invite Auntie Madeline and then the George family since they were right there. Then we go to Anthony’s house and invite he, and then Flora’s house since she was there. She gives me a birthday lukanani (fish). Fish in tow, we go to the Duncan house and sit and gaff and take a half mug of strong cari juice and a shot of wine. Whew. We go to some others, and forget some others, too, then we go to Melvina’s, Vilma’s and Shaira’s (Maisie’s sister in laws) and return to find Ashley, Bryan, Jose (who was delivering the cake), Mike and Felix (who delivered a bucket of jamun wine – jamun is a local berry) out in front of my house with Franzea, Lucy and Mark. The moon lit the party scene, and inside was only lit by my one lantern.

It’s getting dark, and people slowly start arriving. Shamir finally arrives with two big speakers, a 12 volt battery, an inverter and his own mp3 and music starts. We talked about forming an ultimate playlist, one that included the customary forro that everyone likes and would dance to – Forro Boys, Forro Gyga and Premos de Forro - but also other current hits such as Banda Calypso, DJ Maluco, Akon, Rhianna. And of course, I wanted to enlighten them to my own music, too. It’s funny, most people just want to listen to Forro Gyga, the current fave, but really, that can get old and there are only so many songs you can listen to. So, Sham and I figure there’s a good equation to playing the music, one that would enable him to not have to go change things up all the time, plus would keep a good groove and people from complaining/suggesting. My theorized ratio of music is 3:2:1 – 3 hot forro songs, 2 other hot songs, and 1 of my own songs. Some of the artists have music that all sounds the same, which is good to keep up a nice dancing momentum, but it can get redundant and/or tiring, so this would keep people on their feet (pun intended) and fresh. All this musical theorizing was moot, however, because, you know, the playlist was never made and so we listened to what we had.

A couple people had mugs of their own to share out how they wanted – Special special invitees, you could call them – Ashley and Mike/Hamzad being them. There’s a few ways to share out drinks at parties. One is what we were doing so far. Give mugs to a select few people and they are free to drink and share out with whoever they like, if they like. Usually when a new person comes into the mix, someone will share a shot/drink or simply their cup with them until they get their own. This is ideal, because it allows people to drink at their leisure and not feel pressured to get dosed up, and it cuts down on the work on the host. Then, there’s the mobile community bucket approach. The host and whoever he or she gets to help share out, walks around with an open bucket, usually 3 gallon or so, a dipper cup and a drinking cup and shares out cups of the drink. They’ll keep cycling around the crowds and they have to keep on their toes for new arrivals, keeping in mind whose already drank and trying to pace the drinks, taking into account how strong the drink is and how much drink there is to share out. You want to space it out evenly (or not, depending). Then lastly, if perhaps the people don’t have much to share out or don’t want a big to-do, there’s the stationary community bucket approach, where it’s set on The Table, maybe next to the music, and people can come up and take a cup when they want. And, the host and those sharing out are usually given a portion of what they share out; it’s a risk to share out, as those are the ones who are most likely to get the most influenced.

Lucy and Franzea were supposed to be around to help me share out – I’ve only been on the receiving end of drinks, and being always a Special Invitee, I’m always offered more than my fair share of drinks from the hosts as well as party goers. I had no idea how long my drinks would last. Lucy, though, went for a nap because she wasn’t feeling well, then Franzea went home to bathe – CRAP! Alicia and her mother, Alma, were one of the first guests to arrive and I immediately pull Alicia to help share out. She quickly jumped in and began to help, what a doll. She was on mobile bucket duty for the night. Drinks were pooled into actual pitchers, and then recycled soap power buckets, paint buckets and bowls. Once there was a modest gathering of people around, it became time for the speech: the words of welcome, where you play down your humble selection of drinks and encourage good behavior. Prayer is optional. So, got that out of the way, then Franzea came back and we shared out the cake to as many people as possible.

Birthday Itations Part 2

After the ant-staring, Lucy and I were leisurely gaffing in my yard – about anything else besides the party – when Maisie came in and started leisurely gaffing with us as well. I pull out a chair for her and we just sit, sit and talk. Franzea comes over; a picnic is planned for the day in which she and some of my “special invitees” would be gone for the morning and early afternoon. Umm… She wanted a mug of the rice wine we’d set… Sure, why the heck not? Sporting at 9 a.m. – woo hoo! Plus, some of them had been sporting from the night before (school athletics in Quatata the day before, with an extended post-athletics sporting that involved enough music and drinks), I guess they wanted to carry on. Then Inez and some Auntie whose name I don’t know, came, bearing gifts of unstrained cari to donate. Aww. “When are you keeping yours?” Inez asks. She’d decided that she’d hold her own after my own, something I’m assuming happened due to my lack of communication with her. “Umm…. 3 or 4?”

Her husband had come with the ladies, and was still going on fumes from the day before and saw Franzea carrying out the mug of rice wine. When he asked what it was, she replied “Water!” He asked if I had any “water” in the house, and I say the pipes were off for the time. It looked like he was going to turn belligerent and I was debating on what to do when Lucy just muttered out of the corner of her mouth for me to just get the man a drink, so I pour some rice wine into my smallest pot and take out a cup and give him some damn rice wine. I refused to let myself start pondering the issues of drinking and my role in abetting such issues – it was my party day, dammit. And it looked like my social gathering was competing with hangovers, party layovers, picnic plans and a general air of laid-backness. So I just sit back and let it happen… mostly.

Go to Bryan’s shop to buy some rice, just in case… They were also still celebrating the post-athletics stuff and I get thrust a beer into my hands and listen to oldies and tipsy man banter. Eventually get the rice and go to check with the Duncans and Junita about meat and a meal. Junita sweetly asked if she could help cook, but…. Eh. Decide no meal.

As I go home and shut myself in my room for some more eye glazed catatonicity, Jose comes to offer to make a cake, if I can get the ingredients. I was in the “aw crap, there’s another thing to think about, so I’ll avoid thinking about it” mode, but Lucy later called me to go get the ingredients… Ok. Didn’t want to go back to Bryan’s shop, but I did. I had an actually engaging chat with Sir Bryan about growing up and older and learning from mistakes and living. Very engaging. Great man. He asked what all the ingredients were for, I told him it was for my b day cake and he gave them all to me for free.

All the ingredients except coconuts (a coconut cake, baked in a mud oven with special wood for fuel that burns nicely with pastries). I’m pointed in Junita’s direction and she gets Habla to go knock some down from her tree, though Habla “demands” payment of a mug of cari later that night. You bet. Take the ingredients for the cake to Jose’s house, which is the last house on the hill – a slight walk. The coconuts were water coconuts, not the right kind. Jose suggests Lorrie’s house, and sends a daughter, Mabell, to go with me. We trek to Lorrie’s house and call to her mom, who first offers me a cup of sweet rice wine, initiating the obligatory drink and gaff first. I inquire about coconuts and we have to find someone to actually climb the trees, as the poles are too heavy and too short. She finally goes across the way and gets a young boy. He shimmies up the coconut tree, and we help him up with pole footholds and he knocks down two. Mabell carried them home to be grated and made into a cake.

Birthday Itations Part 1

The day started quiet. I slept in, and then, upon thinking about what was supposed to happen that day, I became catatonic and decided to stare at a line of ants climbing a bedroom wall and then take a nap for a bit first. Then I chain smoked about 5 cigarettes. You would have thought I was facing something more difficult and scary than keeping my birthday.

“Keeping a birthday” – that’s what they call it down here. A person or parent who is celebrating a birthday or anniversary will customarily arrange a lunch, drinks and music to share out with “special invitees” and then those who come around later, pulled in by the music and promise of getting offered some drink. On your special day, you are the one serving and organizing and sharing, and doing so in an entirely modest, non-attention calling way.

I think one way I fit in well here is my tendency to be non-attention calling as well, but then I also am plagued with a general air of indifference on adhering to many socially constructed proceedings. Meaning, “meh,” is usually my response of choice when thinking about how to celebrate my birthday, for example. So long as I’m with friends, it’s cool. And, seeing as how I’ve already thrown out so many of my past ways/ habits/ traditions/ manners of life here, not needing to do things in a certain comfortable way any more, scrapping that for (temporarily) adopting new lifestyle practices of my current surroundings, my attitude overall has been mostly passive/laissez fare for celebrating my birthday while in Guyana. I was new enough to get away with it last year, but - when in Guyana… you keep your birthday.

My village was certainly willing to help me keep it. I was not in need of supplies, manpower or ideas. Miss Inez, who was also celebrating her birthday around this time, offered to set some cari for me, and mentioned keeping our birthdays together. Russian offered to donate some cari for me as well. Brian Duncan offered to go fishing to catch food to serve. Junita offered her restaurant as a location for the celebration as well as helping with the cooking and baking of a cake. Lucy was automatically assumed co-party planner with me and immediately began using words like “we can do this,” or “we’ll get so and so to help us.” This was the talk about a month before; it was very gratifying. (Hence the upbeat references in that video.)

But, you know me. I didn’t know whose offers to cash in on, and so I basically cashed in on no one’s offers. I namby pambied around until the last minute, deciding on if I’d keep it this Saturday or the next, and then I couldn’t decide if I’d even have a meal. I didn’t want to put for the effort, no matter how easy the effort actually was. I couldn’t wait for it to be over. I resented having to do this for everyone else, knowing it was culturally expected of me, not wanting to put myself through ‘nuff stress (and then upset that I considered such an event “’nuff stress”). Ergo, the ant-staring, the nap, the cigarettes (sorry, Dad – it’s not a habit, I swear!) and the procrastination on taking action. But then, the easy-going, last minute flow of Guyana that I’ve come to both hate and love overrode all other issues and both saved me from carrying the brunt of the “blame” for poor-planning itation, and carried me through the day, into the arms of my village for the night.

An Analogy

PC service is like a hammock:

-It’s a pendulum of passing time. At times, you’re close to your goals and objectives, at times, you move farther away.

-Just as if you were trying to grab at something on a nearby table, it requires/demands patience in those times you move away; sometimes it takes a couple strong swings to reach it, sometimes you have to grasp at it inch by inch, bit by bit until your object is acquired.

-You can set things in motion, but it’ll have to carry on itself.

And, it occurs to me, PC service is a lot like Life, too.

Have you been embraced by your hammock today?

Have you embraced your hammock today?

A Video Message

Hey guys, here's a video I made a week or so ago, and finally found a way to share it. I uploaded it to my YouTube account (elluzbrillante, check it out), and I'm sharing the link with you on here. It's 5 minutes long and from my camera, so I guess the file was HUGE. Next time, I'll try a web cam thing. It's a bit weird to have my face on camera for the world to see but I figure only you all will check it out. It was SO WEIRD to see myself. I look different.... am I?

And, while you have access to my YouTube account, check out my favorites and reccommend some of yours!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0yaXKCGUJs

Hurry Up and Wait!

So, here's some insight into some of the difficulties/frustrations of my day-to-day work:

The current objective: Outreach

Thursday, I planned with one of my co-workers, to go do outreach in one of the villages we've serviced (i.e. sending books to the schools). In February, we sent them a shipment of books, promising a follow up visit in the next month - that trip never came. In the past months, we've brought up going back, but it's never happened. I've also tried to put some parameters on what exactly "outreach" means. This still remains fuzzy, but I decided to jump at the most recent suggestion that we go to the village at least to check out things.

In February, we left them with no labeling system, no instruction on care for the books, or how to read aloud to students, or how they could use the books in the classrooms. This is why I'm arguing that there are two parts to outreach - the logistics and the content. Build the shelves and get the books there, but then support them in USING the materials, too. We've lapsed on this particular village, but there's always next time, and definitely we can jump in now and try to help if we can.

We decided on Monday, today, to go. Last night, upon trying to confirm the trip, it was decided to put off until Wednesday, since the village/school had not been informed we were coming; one of those things no one thought to do, or, if they thought of it, no one did it, myself included. We'd need to call them today. This morning, I get a note from my co-worker, asking me to make the call and to go in search of a phone card to use - Toshao should have one - because we have a village phone and a radio and THEY have a village phone (a lengthy process to endeavor in, but still, appreciated) but you have to use phone cards to make any call), but not a radio. Ok, so I found Toshao, and asked him about it; he said he'd have to look for the card, but wouldn't forget. I reminded him once and have spent the day doing other things and waiting to make that call.

See, what you do is, once the phone opens up, you dial in the phone card code, then your phone number, and wait/hope for someone to answer the phone wherever you're dialing. Once the phone is answered, you state who you're looking for and most likely they are away, so you tell them you'll call back in 10 minutes, hopefully enough time for the person to be fetched and to come. That's assuming that no other calls are made to the phone you're using, and no one else tries to make a call on your phone. You can only Bogart it for so long.

School got out and thinking it'd be a good time to catch the Headmistress, went in search of the Toshao. I biked to his house, only to find that he's left to go to his farm for the afternoon. I suppose there's always tomorrow...

So, I spend my entire day just waiting for a phone card to make a phone call to CHECK on making a trip to this village - there's still the actual planning of the trip and then actually GOING on the trip and then actually DOING what we PLANNED to do on the trip. And that's assuming I actually get the phone card in time to make the call tomorrow... and assuming our phone works, and their phone works, and I actually get a hold of the teacher tomorrow and they'll be around to accommodate us...

we MIGHT just get this trip made in the next month or so.

Then there's the NEXT village we've already begun the process of servicing...

UPDATE: Toshao actually brought the phone card over late that afternoon. Tried for half hour to call, didn't work. Tried next morning, and then at lunch time, too. Couldn't get through. Then carried it to my partner, and he's out with malaria, unable to travel. We'll try again next week.

Fatigue

You know, I use the word "tired" to describe how I am a lot. one might suppose I don't get enough sleep, or I'm sick or just lazy or it's just in my head. Am I really "tired"? I'll tell you what fatigues me; it's a combination of - limited water, leaky roof, tattered clothes, spoiling food, food tampered with by living creatures (bugs, possum, kids), faulty equipment; the half-assed last minute nature of things that makes projects sub-standard and stress, the lack of answers/resources to meet simple issues, the utter helplessness one can feel when trying to improve, solve or just deal with all these issues.

You simply cannot react how you might have back home, your anger may be too damaging or inappropirate or misguided, your zest to improve may be hampered by the same factors you are fighting to improve. One must "fight" the system, but at the same time one must join into the system. Such tiring work.

Athletics started yesterday and it began unceremoniously, the kids were chaotic and didn't know how to follow the rules, no one showed up for the first half, and I was submitted to hear how it should be, should have been the entire time, by the teachers. They spend so much time condemning the existing event and swearing improvement for the "next time." I'm TIRED of hearing the "should be's" and the "next time's."

I bought beef. Three pounds, part of the calf muscle. Lucy helped me make tasso out of it. Tasso is salted beef dried in the sun - keeps longer, it's durable, too. I tied up a string right outside my door, under the awning, open to air and sun. The pieces dried fine, and I left them there for safe-keeping. This morning two of the three pieces (the two biggest) are missing. I should have known. I hate how I should have know. Days only just begun and I'm tired.

I'm well and happy enough to live here and go with the flow most of the time, but as far as my duty to change the flow, I feel pretty feeble and askew. And that, too, is hutzpah-draining.