**FYI - This post mentions sex, sexuality and terms associated with both topics. It may be uncomfortable for some to read. Not to mention weird for my (grand)parents to read, but there you are, I'm posting it anyways. You've been forwarned.**
I was preparing for Grade 6 tutoring today. We've talked about male and female reproductive systems for over a month now, and I thought nothing could be more awkward than talking about semen, vaginas and scrotums with a group of 15 11 year olds, but I was wrong.
We've moved onto sexual intercourse, and I thought we'd start by just listing some related terms and definitions. There's this great website - www.kidshealth.org - that covers many different health-related topics for kids, teens and parents. I've been using it for reproductive systems and went back to get suitable definitions for sexual intercourse. I was able to get definitions for ovulation, menstrual cycle, ejaculation and puberty, but when it came to "sexual intercourse," I was left at a loss. I came across sentences like "When the male ejaculates (which is when semen leaves a man's penis), between 0.05 and 0.2 fluid ounces (1.5 to 6.0 milliliters) of semen is deposited into the vagina." and "If a female and male have sex within several days of the female's ovulation (egg release), fertilization can occur." But these didn't seem to really DEFINE sexual intercourse.
Come on, I thought, just give me the simplest, most literal yet non-tainting definition of this act that I can give to a group of preteens! After a quick pause to question why I, a 24 year old non-teaching foreigner with no background in health matters, would be teaching this subject, anyway - it was a topic the students did poorly on last year and the teachers are pretty shy about teaching the subject themselves - I move onto www.dictionary.com to peruse the biblio definition. Now enters the awkwardness to challenge all past awkwardness---->
1. sexual intercourse
–noun genital contact, esp. the insertion of the penis into the vagina followed by orgasm; coitus; copulation
2. sexual intercourse
n. Coitus between humans.
Sexual union between humans involving genital contact other than vaginal penetration by the penis.
3. sexual intercourse
noun
the act of sexual procreation between a man and a woman; the man's penis is inserted into the woman's vagina and excited until orgasm and ejaculation occur
4. sexual intercourse
Function: noun
1 : heterosexual intercourse involving penetration of the vagina by the penis : COITUS
2 : intercourse involving genital contact between individuals other than penetration of the vagina bythe penis
Hmm.... Besides the redfaced feelings I'd have reading some of these definitions aloud to the kids, I was put off by some of the phrases used, and found some of these and others, to be a very limited definition. And then if I was worried about being Politically Correct -- forget about it.
Well, sex is.... two people... or entities.... are involved.... penetration does happen, though what and how differs..... orgasms aren't a shoe in..... and there's the other stuff, like mutual consent, pleasure, purpose, duration, frequency....
I went through sex ed in middle school and then in more detail in high school biology - I am familiar with the scientific mechanics of the act, enough so to relay to school children. You can't watch an orgasm on video, live from ground zero, and not get it. And though admitedly awkward at times, I have no problem teaching it to students who need to learn it both for their big exams coming up and their own personal understanding. It, perhaps, is even easier than teaching it back in the states because you don't have to watch every word you say, wondering if you've said too much and parents or the school district is going to drop down on you like an atomic bomb.
It's not the definitions I'm worried about transmitting to these students, though. It's the sentiment.
Sex is discussed, engaged in, teased about all pretty naturally here. Though teachers are timid to teach sex ed to the students, gaffing about such matters over a bowl of cari in the afternoon isn't a big deal, I've learned. I believe the less developed a culture is, the less sheltered from certain facts of life they are.
I guard my own sexuality fairly closely to my person. It was, therefore, kind of invasive-feeling, when I started getting teased regarding my relationships. And this was no "Sarah and So-and-So sitting in a tree..." type teasing, either. This was explicit innuendos and assumptions as to my sexual life.
I suppose inexperience and life choices made on my part has kept such issues as my sexuality and such casual chat about said sexuality at bay, more or less, but I find sex to be confronting me more strongly than ever, and not just because of grade 6 tutoring, and it's sort of been unnerving. I suppose a person has to confront this at some point in their lifetime, some in high school, others in college, others later than that and some in terms such as the character Steve Carrell portrayed in a fairly recent comedy.
My life choice regarding sex has been to wait until I am get married. As I am unwed, I am still a virgin. Before I came here, it was just one of those automatic, (virtually) emotionless facts of life; a choice referring to an event that was far off, distant from my current life. It was easy to stick to my guns and avoid such situations. Come to think of it, it was easy to avoid several situations that encompass typical teen and adult life. But those are other stories. Here, however, my decision has been challenged. Not by those who know of my personal decision, but by those who do not know of it but who are strongly presenting the opportunity to amend it. I am stuck between curiosity, desire and apathy towards maintaining said decision. When you are surrounded by others - HCN's and Americans alike - who do not hold the same life choice as you do, it is very tough to feel support for your choice. I am having to remind myself that just because you can, doesn't mean you should. And then thinking, if I shouldn't, what could I do?
I am grappling with my own personal definitions and perspectives of sex.
A rhetorical question: How do you define sex?
About Me
- SarahO-GUY20
- I served in Guyana as a Peace Corps Volunteer from 2008 - 2011, which of course, means I like to travel, go on adventures, see new things and serve others (as well as my God). I love seeing nature's wonders, drinking coffee, tea and wine. Reading and music are my two biggest vices. Chocolate, too. I love my family and friends and miss them terribly. Really, this blog is for them.
Please note:
The content of this website is mine alone and does not reflect any position of the US government or the US Peace Corps.
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