Monday, May 31, 2010

O-o-on and O-o-off

I've been writing a lot about the difficulties and realities of being a volunteer. What sort of difficulties a PCV might face, how one might want to deal with those difficulties, and then how I've been dealing with them (good or bad). They've all gone into different pieces of writing, some meant to be blogged, some for my journal, some in letters and emails to friends.

Perspective is a concept used a lot, as is numbness and anxiety. Restraint, too.

Today was a good culmination/example of these sorts of issues. I just sorta felt like one big shrug.

I wanted to have a massive inventorying day with our library, to have that good ol sense of library there. We didn't have enough current to power the library to use the computers to do it. As it was, my comrade, Jess, asked what the point was about the inventory list, and, besides the argument that it's just a thing a library should do, I didn't have a good enough reason, knowing that the sense of a library is so much more than that, and we don't have it here.

The librarians came in 15 and 30 minutes late to work; when I reproached them about it, their reasonings were their distance from the job and lack of a watch.

I was asked to print out some copies of a document. The jump drive wouldn't load on the computer for some reason, to be able to save it and carry it to the only computer that is hooked up to the printer, so we had to open email on that one computer, but then the settings were in Portuguese and we had to change them, and then the computer went into hibernation because it wasn't charged and then when we finally got the document up, we had to work it out to print on both pages and... this ended up taking the better part of an hour.

After a week off for Independence Day festivities, we brought back grade 2 to the library for a half hour after they get out of school for some last-minute tutoring for their national exam starting this week. They have to be able to read sentences from past book passages and sound out 3 and 4 letter simple words. When asked to identify words beginning with 's', most of the students will randomly point to 'went' or 'when'. When asked to find a 5-letter word in the sentence, most of the students will point to a 7-letter word. When asked to sound out p-o-t, (puh, auh, tuh) most kids will go p-o-t, pat.

Every small issue faced today, has profound sub-issues behind them, ones that seem too monumental to solve. Work ethic, team work, discipline, literacy....

These issues cannot be solved in one day, one month, one year, and it can't be done by one person, either. So I have to let it go. I have to not let it get to me too much, but I have to let it bother me enough to search for manageable solutions.

In order to function, you have to turn parts of yourself off. But turning parts of yourself off runs the risk of turning the WRONG parts off. Does that make sense?

I had a great, long chat with Dad yesterday. He stressed focusing on 'today' and letting the rest fall into place. Which is a good, life-saving method. Today, I read two stories to children, I had them compete to spell out different words, I taught them two different words - elevator and memorise. I tried. And that's important.

I just wonder, at what point does it become damaging to focus only on the today? At what point can one look at those monumental issues and try to tackle them? Maybe it's something that someone else, but not myself, will be able to address. Maybe my best way to help is with the daily, smaller efforts.

Well, in the mean time, while I'm still figuring it out, I'll keep reading to those kids. I'll keep singing "He's God the Whole World in His Hands" and "I've Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts" to my librarians to keep spirits light, I'll do little dances of frustration instead of tantrums of frustration. I'll shrug my shoulders, sigh a little, and relent: "Oh, Guyana."

Which, really, has come to mean: "Oh, life." "C'est la vie." "It happens." "Que ser'a, ser'a."

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Simplicity of character -

- is the direct result of profound thought. ~Found in my fortune cookie ca. 2003

We've had some quite ‘worldly’ guests in CH. A bit over my head, out of my world, at times.

Sometimes, it’s something else to be here, so foreign. The guests I meet, the people I encounter (volunteer, HCN, ex-pats, etc.). So many of them have been so many places, seen so many things, done so many things, met so many people, have so many opinions and ideas and knowledge. Who have encountered peoples from all over, experienced different things, have educated themselves on various subjects. The kind of people who use phrases like “my favorite place in the planet” for example.

It is an uncomfortable reminder that there is a lot more going on out there in the world.

I alone entertained a couple guests, in particular, over a dinner and breakfast. One is a photographer who’s been in the area taking pictures for a book he is collaborating on. He is one of the top nature photographers of the world, I believe. He’s sold pictures to National Geographic, worked on some photographers’ organization in Europe and done guest stints on Wildlife TV shows around, and for BBC. He’s written a book about Mongolia, acted as a guide for different countries such as Antarctica, the Arctic and Australia.

Another is a horticulturist who’s worked for wealthy people in the states for years and well-travelled as well. She was volunteering in the country.
Impressive resumes and exciting to hear their tales. Intimidating, too, a little. I definitely didn’t have much to add to the dinner table conversation. But it was the post-dinner conversation that really hung me up.

The lady seemed so critical of Americans, religion and referred to many people as stupid. I think she considers close-minded people stupid, which I'm not necessarily saying is wrong, but it sorta seems almost an oxymoron almost to me, to judge people who judge others.

My mother country and my spiritual life were both insulted. I didn’t know how to respond.

It’s not just ‘worldly’ people combating what I stand for, though, and who do not share certain views that I do - I am in quite the minority here in the Rupununi, as a conservative, active Christian, for a start.

Those I am surrounded by don’t believe in monogamy; my good friends here do not believe that it’s possible for natural for two people to live a lifetime together, happily and loyally. My students are more sexually active than I am. Some youths who aren’t even considered adults in the states are mothers and housewives.
It’s just… weird. Different. Lonely. Sad.

Which, I guess is a difficulty I’d rather face, instead of bland neutrality all the time. I have felt more alive here than ever before. (Though I’ve also felt quite numb here, at times ever than before.) I guess I’d rather be challenged, questioned for my beliefs and find myself still holding them, than just blindly clinging to them. Can you have a strong grasp on (the depths of) your beliefs and faiths if it’s never tested? What would have happened if I had gone to, like, a college on the Bible Belt, and all that? I may have had and have less strife, but also be less aware, less sure of my beliefs.


So, I recognize the opportunity to be challenged and grow, but I guess I found myself wanting?

That night, I basically just let them talk. I mean, 1) because I didn't really have much to contribute, and sure, let them talk, it's obviously things they feel passionately about and want to talk, but also 2) I find myself not as concerned or opinionated about the topics as they are. And even if I don’t agree - with religion for example - it's not like I could sway them with one evening of conversation. And THEN, it’s not my place as a PCV to get involved in political or religious (to an extent) conversations. I listened, nodded, threw out some ‘oh’s’ and ‘uh huh’s’ and sometimes felt like saying ‘no,’ but not sure why exactly or how to express it, so didn’t vocalize it. I’m sure I handled things the right way at the time.

But on the other hand, I wondered if I'm lacking adequate 'counter-attacks.' I mean, these people had comments on such anthropologic stuff from religion, to war, to politics, to gender roles...

Sometimes I wonder if I'm too bland. Too uninvolved. Too 'live and let live.'

Too content with simple things that won't solve problems.

There was no space for 'I laughed with a kid today and we read a book together' in the night's conversation. Which, I guess, admittedly, doesn't fit into every appropriate conversation. It certainly won’t stop national debt or nuclear war, not directly, at least. Nor should a teacher be expected to confront such issues; no one can be expected to undertake each and every subject matter.

What do I know? What can I contribute to a conversation like that one? Do I not know enough about my own country’s news and history? Do I not have enough opinions worthy of sharing?

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

The toughest job you'll ever love

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.


This is a part of the well-known Serenity Prayer, written by theologian Reinhold Niebhur. It has been adopted by Alcoholics Anonymous and various other 12-step programs.

Seems sorta perfect for Peace Corps Service, as well.

My group will be officially leaving in two months and 5 days. Of the 34 PCVs that swore in in my group, 26 were at COS. Since COS, 2 more have gone home. The rest of us, even though they may leave before July 23rd, will be considered to have reached their COS. One PCV, Juan, will be serving a third year in Costa Rica. One of us, Chase, is appyling to be a PC recruiter. One, Tim, is applying to be a PC Response Volunteer. A last, Jud, will be staying in country as an ex-pat, working for the NGO he volunteered with.

Two volunteers, Collen and Emily, are extending service for 3 months. Karishma will extend for 9 months. My good buddy, Nick, and myself will extend for a year.

GUY21 is celebrating their Mid-Service Training right now. Can't believe it's been a year for them. Some seem as veteran as we are, others are still quite excitable.

GUY22, a group of 33, swore in on March 31. As I've been in Town for vacation and medical things over the past week and a half, four of the GUY22 PCVs have gone home. One left before that. This meeting I had in Lethem a couple weeks ago was in response to some difficulties of GUY22 volunteers in our region.



Is it just me, or do they not make PCV's like they used to?

Ok, this is harsh and judgemental. And, I know that a few of these ET's (early termination) were done for medical reasons, not personal, which holds true for my group as well. But..... I seem to get the feeling that not everyone is handling 'it' as well as I've seen.

In the Peace Corps:

You'll see things that irk you, frustrate you, even outrage you; you'll have to ignore or push past numerous other distrctions, you'll have to use various methods different from what you're used to or have even done before. You'll be stereotyped, judged, scrutinized, ignored or thrust into the spotlight. You'll have to accept different social norms - acknowledge, if anything. You'll see things you'd never dare see in the Sates, and you'll know you could never change them, even if they need (desperately) to be changed. You'll want to move mountans, but only be able to move grains of sand. You may be the only one who knows mountains need to be moved. You'll do very little things 'your way.' You'll have to confront uncomfortble, unpleasant, if not gruesome facts of life, perhaps on a daily basis, that you'd been able to steer clear from back home. You won't have your nutritional, personal or emotional needs met like you're grown accustomed to.

It's part of it. It's understood. It's the toughest job you'll ever love.

Monday, May 17, 2010

The Georgetown Road

NY Times < click on this!

NY Times Just came out with an article on Guyana May 9th -

An article regarding the Georgetown Road, the road I have to travel on from Lethem to GTown each time I need to go to the capital for conferences, or to access the rest of the country from my region (9). This paved road debate is a fitting example of the primary conflict within the country, one of maintaining it's modest traditions and pristine environment, or plunging further and quicker into industry.

It's neat to see familiar faces (Graham Watkins is quite well-travelled in the country and others, the DeFreitas family at Dadanawa Ranch is a beautiful place I've been able to visit) and for you all to see a part of where/how I've spent my time here.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

General updates

It occurs to me that I don't really give day-to-day info on how things are going down here. I've recently begun writing "Random Rupununi Facts" that are just little things I've learned or noticed since coming to the country and/or Rupununi, which will give you all a better idea of the country and culture down here, but I suppose other daily goings on may be nice to hear about too?

The days after COS were rough, what with the transitioning back into village and Guyanese life. I struggled to keep the librarians busy and the library itself productive. Because rainy season is upon us, it's been cloudy and therefore our solar power has been low. The library takes lower precidence in regards to the power - CH and the guest house are more in need of it where as computers in the library are not as important - so we haven't had grades 1-3 in the library for their Math class like normal.

I've started Story Time back again in the library. Its one of those things every library should have and we haven't, not formally, since I've been here. I told Russian and Lorrie that every day, at 11:30 and 2:30, we're gonna have a story time that whoever can come to.

Tuesday afternoon was our librarian's weekly meeting at my house and it was lighthearted fun as Russian worked with plastic pop bottle caps, writing letters on them to spell words, and Lorrie and two secondary level school girls, Kelly and Melissa, helped make a poster that will highlight a Word of the Week. Just two new things in the library.

The meeting went well; I made popcorn and juice, we had music and we just worked on the projects. Wednesday was a national holiday, Arrival Day, and Headmistress Li had a small event planned for the students for Tuesday day. She wanted each class to get together and make a food from one of the 6 cultures of the country. Good idea, not much planning. Tuesday morning, HM Li came to me, talking about the need for a European food, like pie or fish and chips. Too bad my roommate, Jess, was in Town, because she's from overseas! I somehow ended up a substitute European and spent the morning in CH kitchen, making a pumpkin pie out of a half ripe pumpkin from a student's garden.

PCV Sarah: "What's my role today? PC: "Pie baker!" PCV Sarah: "Ok!" (a separate blog entry is upcoming regarding the Arrival Day event)

Thursday was another Teacher's Meeting and once again, I wanted it to be cancelled. I wasn't prepared, some of the teachers weren't there, a lot of them have on faces of going to a dentist's office.... sigh. It wasn't a complete waste of time, though. We talked a bit about what we will be doing for the rest of the meetings of the term, and then, upon seeing the finished bottlecap letters, I sensed an ice breaker breaking forth and split the teachers into two groups and had them competing to spell words quicker than the other group. They loved it. And it got them talking about how else they could use the bottle caps. And then Miss Eleanor came to me the next day and asked to borrow them for her class. Cool.

Oh, and Monday that week, I went into Lethem for a PCV support 'meeting,' which turned out to be beneficial and trying at the same time, as I've come to expect most meetings down here to be. If anything, I got into Lethem for some shopping, and got quite excited about some new lantern shades which now allows for some substantial light in my house at night.

Ok, so this update is not all chronological, but you get the gist.

Local Remedies

There are some local things I've come across since being here that I hadn't heard of back in the States, even if they are used.

Crabwood Oil - from the Crabwood Tree, it's also known as Andiroba. It's yellowish in color and used for all sorts of skin issues like sunburns, rashes, bug bites, dandruff. You can even ingest it and it's supposed to be healthy. Supposed to help as a laxative, too.

My PCV buddy Nick swears by it, and my neighbor, Lucy, gave me a bottle to use. It's sold unofficially and in official bottles as well. It has a pleasant musky scent to it. (Tastes terrible though. don't ever accidentally use it instead of regular oil for brownies.)

Shilling Oil - A clear, minty liquid sold in small bottles used for colds or headaches. You smell it or rub it on aching muscles or your forehead and it's supposed to relieve it. Made of camphor and menthol, sorta like Mentholatum or something.

Honey - Maisie, our HM, swears by honey to help heal cuts and scrapes. She says it dries out the wound, so I suppose it's similar to Iodine in that regard.

Garlic - Since coming down here, I've seen garlic used on warts, in ears for aches and eaten to help with gas, or as they call it being 'locked off with wind.' Lucy suggests to make a tea of garlic, with milk to help cure wind. I know it as a detoxifier and as a sinus opener and overall healthy thing to consume, especially raw (Dad used to say so and we'd sit around the dinner table, daring to eat small bites of the cloves.) I looked it up online, and it says that garlic contains a substance called Allicin, which has anti-bacterial properties that are equivalent to a weak penicillin. It appears that cooked garlic weakens the anti-bacterial effects considerably, however. Says to also be good for wounds, skin irritations, flu, high blood pressure, kidney and bladder issues, worms and more. A repellant for mosquitoes and more. And then BAM - per one website: Garlic works as a cleanser of the digestive system, helps in curing flatulence, kills internal parasites and is an excellent internal antiseptic. Heck yeah, garlic.

These are all pretty easily available here, Shilling Oil is widely used. Other plant products, like aloe, are used, too. I've heard of a couple other local plants (bush medicine) that are said to help with different issues such as diabetes or high/low blood pressure, but I don't know much about them.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Loved Ones ARE Always With Us

Just the other night, I was making popcorn and my Dad was with me.

I was listening to Plain White Tees and Devon was with me.

I was scratching a mosquito bite and Tony was with me (he used to have excema and scratched a lot, I remember the sound).

I say "You bet" here, and think of Dad and Mom; it's something he has said for years.

I feel a compulsion to clean out the sink, and think of Mom who would insist that when you 'did the dishes,' you cleaned the counters, sink, the works. I always fought it before I came here - now I get it.

It occurred to me, somewhere in the last 6 months, that through memories, and incidents shared, tendencies shared, they can be with you, even when they aren't WITH you. It was a comforting discovery. Loved ones are as big a part of our identity as anything.

Tic Tac, Sir?

Hard candies are called "Sweeties" or "Chico" down here. Chico is a brand that does candy, and it can also refer to gum.

When people offer you a mint, beware, it's probably a Halls cough drop. People eat them like candy.

Lastly, with the money exchange at $200 GYD to $1USD, the $20 is the lowest paper bill. So when you gotta give $10 in change, it's a little silly. So shop owners will give one or two sweeties/mints/chico as change.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Drinking Habits

It's habit/custom to flick out the last dregs of any drink, be it water, juice, or cari.

You 'bottoms up' on the drink, and then flick the cup sideways into the grass, gravel or wherever, and then hand the cup back to whoever gave it to you.

I'm assuming this is done because any dirt or dregs from the homemade beverages in the drink will have sank to the bottom and you don't want to drink that. It's interesting how it's come to include water, even, too.