I've been living with a clown above my bed...

So the clown above the bed thing.... don't let your mind take you anywhere saucy - it's a reference to a line from the movie Music and Lyrics! She writes "cloud" but he reads "clown." She asks, why would you have a clown above your bed? and he answers - it wouldn't be the first time. Let's pause for a quick titter of giggles for the scintillating banter that is befitting this genre of movies.

Ok, that aside, I like that line. The song is in reference to love, or finding a way back into love, but I'm just taking the lines at immediate symbolic value. You ever have one of those days (or weeks or months or, God forbid, years) where the simplest tasks just aren't workin for you? You can't remember to pull up your zipper on your pants... you drop your pan full of hot food... you lock yourself out of your house... you drop your toothbrush in the toilet... you can't light a proper match... (I've done some, but not all, of these recently.) And yeah, you can't even sleep soundly because of the damn clown/cloud.

The line that precedes the cloud reference goes "I've been living with a shadow overhead." I'd describe it more as a fog, rather than shadow. You feel hazy, somewhat defeated. Though you're still valiantly fighting; it just requires more effort, mentally and physically. You're puttin' forth the effort, but the universe is not recognizing it, not cutting you a break. There's no reason for despair, no real cause for tears - and any tears produced would have to be forced out of self-pity and therefore not genuine - and no cause to walk around with a cloud OR shadow above your head. Well, ok, maybe a small wispy cloud, but not a storm cloud with thunderbolts or anything.

Anyway, I do have a cloud above my bed and where ever else I'm walking, but 1) it's not ginormous in size and 2) all this stuff is just small stuff, and no need to develop a defeatist's attitude over it.

So yeah, it's weird, I feel like I'm in a funk, but yet it's not of the RAWR! proportions, or I'm not letting it get there, so I kinda feel proud about it, in some sense. Proud, but tired, tired, tired! A good tummy rubbing and "nonny, nonny, noooooonnyyyyyyy" might do the trick, though. --- any offers?

Ok, THAT ^ was a little saucy. ;)