New Years Eve

–saying goodbye, no matter where you are
-interrupted plans, incomplete plans
-depending on and being responsible for only yourself

This is the part that people must mean when they tell me what I do is hard.

When you’re doing what I’ve chosen to do, you might end up spending New Year’s Eve at an airport amongst strangers, for example. Sorta hard, yeah.

I wryly smile, knowing that’s just the way it is, a unique and therefore appreciated fact of Life.

I feel sad at saying goodbye to Mom, Dad, Zach and Tony, tearing up a bit to think I won’t feel their touch, hear their voices, feel their love, hear their love for a long while.

I feel excited at this new predicament of Life – what will happen on my journey, who will I meet, what will I mull over in the next hours, how wonderful will it be to step into the tropical embrace of Guyana, will any mishaps occur???

I worry – if mishaps DO occur, will I be able to cope? How is my health? Will these next 8 months conclude satisfactorily? What will happen next?

But --- I take pride; at how I’ve managed so far, at an optimism for the future, in all those who stand behind and beside me in Life.

And so, I accept this, being at JFK, sitting in the food court with a hot chocolate and mini pretzels mom packed for me, preparing to bring in the New Year, 2011, on my own.