A New Perspective

Quiet time. I seem to be getting less of it lately – but also appreciating it more when I do and finding it in different ways. Like lying in bed after waking up just now. And going to lime by Hamzad them yesterday after the long day in the library. I’ve come to appreciate the mornings before Jess has got up and I have my hammock to myself and read and have breakfast.

Jess always asking questions and tossing out ideas had kept me more alert and reflective – in a good way. I’m realizing how comfortable I’ve become here, how I’ve formed opinions of tendencies here and how I’ve responded to those tendencies. I’m wondering if Jess sees me the way I sorta saw Mike at first – a little to apathetic to “the issues.” I eventually realized that I mistook being well-worn for apathy, and then thought he should just try harder, though I finally understood that he’s just being realistic in regards to how life here is and how he could change things.

A four year old drinking cari, for example. Back in October or so, last year, he laughingly commented “Only in the Rupununi can you ask a four year old how the cari is and have them answer ‘strong.’” I was appalled to hear of a young child drinking an alcoholic drink and put out by Mike’s amusement at it. Shouldn’t he see it as a grave matter? Shouldn’t he discourage the behavior? Shouldn’t he educate that kid’s parents about the issues of alcohol? The answer I’ve come to learn is “Yes,” or “maybe”… but, ultimately, “no.” He can’t, shouldn’t and doesn’t tackle each issue here. No one person CAN, plus, it doesn’t work like that – you don’t go around, handing out nuggets of information that all can and will instantaneously cash in on and the world will be a better place. And accepting this doesn’t mean one has given up – just grown more realistic and therefore (potentially) more effective.

Still, though, Mike (and now myself) shouldn’t always be so complacent with the facts; occasional renewed efforts, different perspectives, techniques an then persistence should produce greater results and maintain more mental sanity – to some degree. “I’m gonna get you to care a little big more, and you’ll get me to care a little bit less,” I told Fernando a year ago. Same applies now, only I’m on the other side, sort of.

Balance. New blood combined with veteran knowledge. Balance.